In the two mornings following my experience at the prayer meeting I woke from intense dreams in which my controlling housemate from Exeter and my best friend, John, in Ann Arbor left me. I was due to start a new cycle of birth control pills, but as I began tearing away the foil-covered disc, a voice, kind but authoritative, halted me and I knew that my practice of sexual intimacy outside of marriage was displeasing to God.
I looked in the mirror and couldn’t imagine how I could change such an habitual and, frankly, addictive behavior. Sexual power was a tool I used to create my identity and define my worth. But I decided to take a step of -obedience. “I will give up sex,” I told God, “but you will have to help me.” And he did.